the road to ruin
by SweettFace
Summary: This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end. (Dark, depressing, very light smut)


**Authors Note:** Hey guyss! So I saw city of bones two days ago and I loved it! I haven't read the series but I definitely will now! Anyways this is a oneshot that I just had to write after seeing that. It's depressing, and dark. And lightly smutty. You should expect nothing else from me unless im in a weird mood and write something with a happy ending. This switches around in pov, i dunno i write whatever comes out of me.

_I'd like to say we gave it a try_  
_ I'd like to blame it all on life_  
_ Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie_

_ And we can deny it as much as we want_  
_ But in time our feelings will show_

* * *

_~the road to ruin~  
_

_Jace was leaning on his motorcycle in front of Clary's apartment, hands in his pockets, taking in the nighttime view. He looked up and saw stars, that had been the first in years that he had seen stars in the sky. He stared until he got his fill, he was leaving tonight and he knew this would be his last time. He was leaving. For good. He couldn't stand to be around her anymore, his feelings were too strong._

_He tried not to come here, but every time he's ready to go, he ends up here. Like a moth to a flame, she undid him. She made him question everything he believed in, his family, the truth. It was all for her._

_He turns around once more to look at her apartment, to say goodbye in a way. Despite the given facts,that they were brother and sister, he couldn't shake it. This feeling he has for her. Its stronger than any demon he's ever battled, and feels like its what's right. It feels true._

_She was his weakness, but he had to let her go. He had to bury these feelings, he had to leave because his feelings were wrong. _

_Jace got onto his bike, and turned on the engine. He was ready to go, he had seen it one more time and he was ready but as we about to ride away there she was. She hadn't been home all this time. There she was walking up the street to her door, and his breath hitched. He wasn't supposed to see her. He knew what would happen if he did._

_"What are you doing here?" Clary said as she walked towards him. Jace could clearly see her silhouette, but he couldn't see her face. _

_"Clary,I...uh, I thought you were inside." His response ended up sounding a lot dumber out loud than it had in his head._

_"Do you need something?" Clary asked, she was almost visible._

_"I've actually come to say goodbye." he said, looking down, avoiding her gaze._

_With one step forward, Clary came directly under a beam of moonlight. "Y-you're leaving?"_

_"Yeah, I just, I can't really stay here anymore." He responded, looking her in the eye._

_"Is it because of me?" She asked, hurt buried deep in her voice. _

_He nodded._

_"I—," she began, and then took a deep breath. She looked around frantically. "Could we go for one more ride? Say goodbye properly? Make a memory at-least?"_

_Jace nodded, and gestured her to get on his bike._

_::_

_He took her to an old park that he used to come to all the time. _

"I come here to think sometimes," he said." When I'm really conflicted I look up at the sky and it's as if the moon is guiding me."

Clary watched him, throat tight. She didn't know what to say. She rubbed her hands together nervously. "Are you conflicted right now?" She took a deep breath awaiting his reply.

"You know I am Clary." He replied, looking up at the sky once more.

Clary just wanted to hear him say it. She wanted to make sure he was going through the same pain she was, that this wasn't one sided. This hurt her just as much as it hurt him. Finding out they were brother and sister hurt more than anything, and that's alot since she's been through hell back. Imagine loving someone with all your heart and soul, but being forced to believe that what you feel is wrong. That it's not right. That's its disgusting, and twisted.

"I love you Jace." She admitted finally, looking at him. He was looking at the sky, half his face shown by the moonlight. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and she loved him. "I won't stop loving you. I can't."

But he never looked at her instead he stayed mesmerized by the moon letting her words surround his being, his heart. This was what he feared most, being reminded why he stayed all those times in the first place.

"You just gonna stand there Jace?" Clary asked, taken back by his lack of reaction. "After everything we've been through? After everything I just told you?"

It was then that Jace broke his gaze at the moon and looked at her, his face hard and emotionless. "What do you want me to say Clary? That I love you too?"

His eyes were wild, and tears were forming. She could feel them form in her eyes as well.

"I love you so much it hurts me that I can't touch you Clary. I can't kiss you, and do half the things to you that I'm dying to." He shouted, and he stepped forward. "I can't even think of you the way I do because it's wrong remember? My heart is wrong, my feelings are wrong. This is wrong."

"Jace I dont ca-"

"NO! I am leaving so this can end. I'm leaving so you can move on, so you can be happy. I'm wrong for you in so many more ways besides the obvious one. I can hurt you Clary. I will hurt you I know I will."

"I won't be happy unless you're here with me Jace." She said quietly, tears streaming down her face and her heart racing.

He wrapped his arms around tightly, resting his head on hers, breathing in her scent. "Goodbye..._sister." _

_and like the wind he was gone. _

* * *

He knew it was her on the doorstep before the doorbell even rang. How did she find him?

Following the doorbell came increasingly insistent knocking, Jace stood there a while, in front of the door just contemplating whether this was a bad idea, or that fact that she left and came for him was a sign that this was a good idea and they deserve to be happy. Without any further delay, he turned the knob without hesitation and was met with her unsurprisingly striking form.

She wore a black leather jacket and grey skin tight jeans, and suede black boots. Her fiery red hair was flowing down her chest, and her face looked pale. She looked sick, but she had never looked so beautiful.

He knew something had changed in her once he looked in her eyes, something has died in her.

_But she was still his Clarissa. _

"Hi." She croaked out, whimpering because of the rain. When had it begun to rain?

When her gaze finally came up to meet his, he found himself taken aback by the cold and dull look in them. She looked so fragile.

She had finally materialized in front of him, he wanted to hold her and never let go. It had been two months since he left, and he was determined he would never see her again. But she she is standing in his doorway looking at him with the same eyes he fell in love with. He gestured her to come to him inside to get out of the rain, and she did not hesitate.

As soon as he shut the door, she leaped forward and planted her lips on his. His mind shouted at him, told him to stop this but his heart told him otherwise. He couldn't fight it any longer, it's been too long. He responded with as much fire and want as she did.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him flush against her in her desperation to be closer. As her hands gripped roughly at the hair on the back of his head, Jace opened his mouth to allow her tongue entrance.

They began battling for dominance. He lifted her up an pressed her to her wall, kissing her neck. Clary quickly wrapped her legs around his waist without hesitation.

After all this time he spent trying to avoid he was still here in this situation he wanted so badly to avoid. He knew he could never resist the temptation, the want. He needed to.

Pulling his lips away from hers, he managed out, "Clary I-"

She interrupted him by covering his mouth with hers even harder.

"No." She said between breaths, "Don't say it. _Please._ I want this. I want you. I've always wanted you."

But he needed to stop it now before it got too far and they could never take it back,his body was yelling at his brain to stop fighting what he's wanted all this time but he as to. He can't do this no matter how much he wants to.

"I'm not having sex with my sister!" He says a little too loudly, causing her to too sense. He regrets saying it as soon as its said but it's too late. She was always scambling to get off of him.

"Oh my god." she said backing away. "I-I'm so sorry, I-I. I need to go."

"Clary it's three in the morning. I'm not letting you out there right now, and it's raining."

"I-I, can I your bathroom please?" she asks, rubbing her arms, avoiding his gaze.

"Down the hall too the left."

_and like the wind she was gone._

_::_

The next day Jace is driving his car, and Clary is in the passenger seat looking out the window trying to distract herself from the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry I made you do that." She says, breaking the silence.

He looks at her questioningly. What was she talking about?

"I'm sorry I made you do something you didn't want to do." She says quietly, scrolling through her phone. Her missed call count is forty eight, she couldn't even imagine what his was.

He pulls over suddenly, and glares at her. "Is that you really think?"

She looks at him, fire in her eyes. "How can I not?! You're my brother and I came here and I kissed you and I tried to, I-I."

"I kissed you back! You didn't make me, I chose to because I wanted to. Because I've always wanted to." He counters.

"But it's wrong. Right? We're brother and sister, and it's forbidden." she says, her voice is bitter. "It's _disgusting." _

"I wish it weren't this way Clary, I wish more than anything that it was different. That I could be with you, but I-I cant."

"Why can't we? We could be just Clary and Jace, not siblings. We could be happy." She suggested, tears streaming down her face.

_"_We can't live like that Clary. That's a fantasy. I would never want to be anything but real with you." He responded, tears threatening to fall.

"You wouldn't want to at-least try? Is it worth it to you at all?" She asks, her chest heaving and her eyes red.

"You don't think this is hard for me?! Clary I love you so much it hurts. You're everything I could ever want and need, and I'm reminded everyday how much I can't have you. I try to be strong, but then you go and you smile, or you put your hair up into that bun I love, or you paint, and I find myself forgetting how to fight it. I don't remember how and it kills me."

"It hurts Jace. It hurts so much. My heart can't take it anymore." She's sobbing, and she can't stop.

He grabs the back of her head, and slams her mouth against his. Their fingers dance on each others skin, and they kiss each other everywhere. Suddenly she catches him off guard by climbing over the centre console and straddling his lap.

"Please Jace." she begs, taking his left hand and placing it softly onto the swell of her left breast. "I love you."

"I love you too." he said as he brought his lips to hers once more, and squeezed her breast just a little.

_They sleep together for the first time in the back of his black escalade, in their own bubble.  
_

_and like the wind, their innocence is gone. _

::

"Are we bad people now?" Clary asks suddenly. They were leaning on the hood of his car looking up the sky, fingers interlocked.

"I think the correct term is sick people." He says, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"I don't want to be with anyone else other than you. Ever." She says, turning her head to look at him.

"Likewise." He responded, as he did the same.

"We're sort of like romeo and Juliet aren't we?" She asks, looking him in the eyes.

"They don't really have a happy ending." He says.

"Neither will we, but they're together aren't they? They're together and they're not ashamed." She says, as a single tear flows down her cheek. "Being any kind of happy is better than being miserable about someone you can't have."

He kisses her softly, understanding her meaning. "I love you so much."

"_Likewise." _she mocks, giggling softly. "I love you too. "

They stop at a drug store, and buy two bottles of ibuprofen and two bottles of water. They hesitated a little when the cashier asked for the money, but they did it. They bought it.

They went back to car, and back into that backseat where they made love for the first time. They held hands and kissed once more, before they put as much pills in their mouth's possible, drank the water, and swallowed.

They died in each others arms _happily. _

_::_

"I just can't believe it, why would they do this?" Jocelyn asked, as she clenched her tissue tightly to her chest. She had just received the news. There bodies were found.

"I guess to them they figured there was no other way. They loved each other. More than the should've." Simon suggested, wiping his face.

"There wasn't." Jocelyn cried. " And now my baby's gone."

"Guys I have something to say." Isabelle said as she approached them. "We found out yesterday."

"Found out what?" Simon asked, his heart racing.

_"Jace and Clary weren't brother and sister."_

**fin**

* * *

_'Cause sooner or later_  
_ We'll wonder why we gave up_  
_ The truth is everyone knows_

_ Almost, almost is never enough_  
_ So close to being in love_  
_ If I would have known that you wanted me_  
_ The way I wanted you_  
_ Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart_  
_ But right here in each others arms_

_ Here we almost, we almost knew what love was_  
_ But almost is never enough_

* * *

~Almost is never enough by Ariana Grande featuring Nathan Sykes.

**Authors Not_e:_**_ I hope you liked it! I really enjoyed writing it. Excuse mistakes, I'm too lazy to check. _

_Oh and I haven't read the series so I dont know any of the characters too well. Sorry if anyones ooc, I tried. :/_

_NO! This is not what I want to happen! I want a happy ending for Clary and Jace, but I just like to write sad ones sometimes. _

**_REVIEW PLEASE MY LOVIES. THANKS FOR READING. LOVEYOU_**


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